need another drink. this is the easiest way
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
