I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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