I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
