tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Bring me that man meat
he had hair everywhere except his balls
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
