I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
