I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
