i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
