are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
