Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize