This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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