what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
