What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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