how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
