Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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