whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This is the high leading the old right now
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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