perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We had to coat check the pizza.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
