I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
