yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
