She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
