it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
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