Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
