i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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