He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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