Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
