I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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