Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
