wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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