I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
