dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
