..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
