Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize