and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
