im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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