I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
