i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
