Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
