Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
