You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I believe in your delicious
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
