She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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