would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize