Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
