Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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