ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
