moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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