When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
