I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
