very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
