The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
