I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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