Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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