Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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