You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
