South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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