ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize