The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize