do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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