quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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