found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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