Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
