absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
