this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
