You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
