Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
