Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
