Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
