In the future we'll all be gay
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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