There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
